It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
