I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney