You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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