I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize