I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
