I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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