tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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