considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
