My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
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Booty calls should never involve the cops.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies