Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
