Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(204): View more from Manitoba

Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(204): Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding. http://tfl.nu/e8lb

Replies (19) Good night (1108) Bad night (5915)
Favorite
(978): View more from Massachusetts

i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(978): i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE http://tfl.nu/7vd6

Replies (9) Good night (1056) Bad night (4663)
Favorite
(520): View more from Arizona

2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(520): 2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out. http://tfl.nu/1knp

Replies (26) Good night (8174) Bad night (1660)
Favorite
(620): View more from Kansas

He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(620): He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time. http://tfl.nu/dyz5

Replies (20) Good night (5078) Bad night (1639)
Favorite
(705): View more from Ontario

my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(705): my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia http://tfl.nu/20or

Replies (5) Good night (4855) Bad night (802)
Favorite
(910): View more from North Carolina

i just like, need to vent to someone

(919): View more from North Carolina

Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(910): i just like, need to vent to someone (919): Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you? http://tfl.nu/t3kk

Replies (14) Good night (2790) Bad night (1960)
Favorite
(304): View more from West Virginia

No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(304): No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me. http://tfl.nu/xahh

Replies (10) Good night (2428) Bad night (631)
Favorite
(802): View more from Vermont

she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor

(1-802): View more from Vermont

oh but she would

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(802): she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor (1-802): oh but she would http://tfl.nu/kme5

Replies (3) Good night (1297) Bad night (761)
Favorite
(801): View more from Utah

He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(801): He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class. http://tfl.nu/8fc4

Replies (1) Good night (410) Bad night (792)
Favorite
(479): View more from Arkansas

She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(479): She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday. http://tfl.nu/do6j

Replies (1) Good night (914) Bad night (584)
Favorite
(510): View more from California

He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(510): He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public. http://tfl.nu/l5dt

Replies (9) Good night (456) Bad night (1169)
Favorite
(813): View more from Florida

Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(813): Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner http://tfl.nu/zbhu

Replies (5) Good night (908) Bad night (318)
Favorite
(803): View more from South Carolina

Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(803): Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right? http://tfl.nu/7twp

Replies (7) Good night (281) Bad night (976)
Favorite
(405): View more from Oklahoma

It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

Was it a good conversation?

(405): View more from Oklahoma

It was an awkward, sexual conversation.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(405): It was like we had a conversation with our eyes. (1-405): Was it a good conversation? (405): It was an awkward, sexual conversation. http://tfl.nu/99u8

Replies (1) Good night (640) Bad night (269)
Favorite
(704): View more from North Carolina

I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(704): I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire. http://tfl.nu/enf2

Replies (2) Good night (54) Bad night (120)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: