His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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