Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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