You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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