Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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