i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
