is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
