"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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