Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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