Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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