So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
