Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
