Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
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He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
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I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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