Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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