You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
