I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
