Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
