i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
