i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
