What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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