I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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