States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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