i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
