it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize