I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
