but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
this just has baby written all over it
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
