You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
