Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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