you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
