It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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