Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
