all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
