my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
