i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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