Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
