I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
