She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
birth control should be required to get into college
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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