There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
