I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
