and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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