yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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