It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
