What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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