the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
