I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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