Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
