weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
