I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
that's an acceptable place to lick
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
