I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
