so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
