he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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