the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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