I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
