apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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